What is with me?
I wish I knew the answer to this question. I can’t seem to shake the depression I am in. The doctor increased my meds and I don’t feel very motivated. But it hasn’t been very long, I suppose. But it seems like an eternity when you’re depressed. I woke up today a physically felt like crap so I stayed home. I had to keep lying down I felt so dizzy. I don’t want to focus on these things either. But it is difficult when you’re preoccupied.
So why are you depressed? This is the question everyone always asks. I find the question always maddening. Why does there have to be a reason. I just am, okay? It might have something to do with hating my job, not having things be the best at home and just feeling unsatisfied with my life at this point in time. So do something about it you say? Well I am trying to find a different job- both recent interviews I had turned out to be fruitless- but probably for the best. Home life- well- I’m just not going there. Besides, the happiness thing is supposed to come from within anyway. I guess I’m just not that happy these days, bottom line.
What would make me happy? hmmm. Good question and there is the point to ponder I suppose. I need to feel good about me again and right know that’s a bit elusive. I guess I have to ask the Goddess for her help and maybe she can help me to help myself. Keep the faith and believe things will get better. yea, that’s the ticket. Goddess bless. Sorry for the depressing post but venting helps me………
May 8th, 2007 at 7:57 PM
I hate getting those questions, too. Depending on what kind of depression you have, there may not necessarily be a trigger. I have a hard time explaining to people the difference between “feeling blue”, situational depression and chronic depression. Most people just think I’m feeling bummed, they don’t understand how crippling it is.
I suffer from chronic depression and pretty much cannot function without my meds. I know it took about six weeks or so for mine to kick in. Maybe yours need a little longer before they start working? Hang in there. I know what you’re going through.
May 9th, 2007 at 11:14 AM
Hey girlfriend, sorry you are out of sorts…
I wish I could help.
May 12th, 2007 at 11:26 PM
I totally understand what you mean… I got diagnosed with mild depression a couple of years ago, and I’m supposed to be on medication, but my lousy individual insurance won’t cover it and it’s too expensive – even the generic. Some days, a switch just goes off and I can’t let go of a thought, no matter how little or incorrect it may be, and it loops around inside my head… Mine is most likely family inherited, so my mom understands what I go through, but my SO, Josh just doesn’t get it. It’s so hard to explain depression to people who don’t have a problem with it… they just don’t get it.
Hang in there, you’ll be ok.