Magickal Circle

I finally got the chance to shadow someone at work. Boy was that fun. This new position at work is of great interest to me. I will be a Data Safety Associate. Some of the existing ones are leaving so they will need more DSA’s to do the tremendous amount of work. So it looks very promising, but I have to be patient. That is something I have problems with when it comes to things like this. I want the immediate gratification which includes both a job where I can use my brain and the increase in pay. Sounds like a win-win situation to me. I have to say the the Goddess must be smiling on me right now! Now when I am performing my current job which is electronically registering documents, I look at them thinking ‘oh this goes here and you need to do this with that” kind of thing. So I am alaready thinking about all this stuff. It is a job that required attention to detail. Once I have worked in this position for a bit, I can go anywhere to work. It will be a door that has opened and offers me many opportunities. Now how good it that!

With this months full moon I have got to thank the Goddess. Even if it is nothing more than lighting a candle and staring at the moon and thanking her. I must thank her somehow, after all.

Even the Faeries are smiling on me too. My cards say nothing but positive things about my future. How exciting life looks right now!

Goddess Bless!

I’m having a bit of a trauma here at work. All the problem people have left and it’s nice and calm here now. However I pushed for a change in position which they said I could be trained for and they are just dragging their feet.  Actually doing the job should be a promotion money wise as well, so that’s another reason to push for it.  I feel like they are just going to keep telling me that it is not convenient to train me. We need you in your present position.  If that’s the case then why did they say yes to the position for me?

I just get tired of all these loowsey jobs I get and new get anywhere. I feel like I have paid my dues. I have a nursing degree which lets you do a lot of different jobs besides nursing. I have done the entry level stuff and I need something more. I am too intelligent to settle for all this crap.  My birthchart says that I will have trouble in my work life-sort of like slogging through the mud. I have to fight for everything. That’s pretty much the way it is.

So here I finally think I’m getting a break and then it stalls.  This is a great deal of the reason I want to work for myself if I can just find something that will pay as much as I earn now (or better).  I can’t seem to get anywhere.  Sigh.

If anyone has a suggestion, I’m listening! 

I’ve been looking at my faery cards and trying to learn about them. There was a review about this Mystic Faery Deck in American Tarot Society ( I think that’s who it was) that talked about how cool they are and that the minor cards actually tell a story within each suit. I haven’t had the time yet to really study them but they seem very interesting. I plan to make flash cards to help me learn what the different cards mean. I really think Tarot is interesting and I want to learn more. I find it quite fascinating.

What has been your experience with Tarot? Do you use other tools for Divination? Anyone use a scrying mirror?  Just curious and would love your comments.

I’m excited about my new tarot deck. It’s called mystic faerie tarot and the artwork is beautiful. This deck spoke to me so I had to have it. I look forward to learn with it..

I feel like I am in mourning. The loss of a friend. They didn’t die or anything but they are no longer, so it seems, considering me as a friend. I am not perfect or anything but I feel that I ruined everything and so I consider it my fault. I don’t do well with screwing things up. I am a sensitive person and take everything to heart.  So I am very sad.

I don’t understand the lack of forgiveness or is it a question of no consideration for anyone else’s feelings. I try to think of other peoples feeling but I am not perfect. I have said the wrong thing too many times I suppose. So again, brought on by my own stupidity. As usual I am my own worst enemy.

So I guess I have to be grateful for the time I had as this person’s friend. And I enjoyed it a lot. New thoughts and ideas and a different way of looking at things.  Moral support too. Lots of that.  and now it’s gone. 

So I say a prayer for my friend- that their life will be good and they will be happy. That’s all I ever wanted was for them to be happy.  But now I’m sad and I don’t know how they feel because they won’t say. And they have a reason but to me it doesn’t relate. They don’t want to spend so much time on the computer. This translated to didn’t want to chat anymore in reality- at least my reality anyway.  Doesn’t make much sense. Why can’t people say what they mean. I would rather the truth, even if not pleasant rather than some BS excuse that in essence is more insulting because it shows lack of respect.  Hmm, maybe they felt I didn’t deserve that much consideration. I guess that’s another point to ponder. But when a person says they value the friendship and then seem to toss it away and it’s gone, I question how valuble was it to them? I am so confused.

So I mourn the loss. Some days I cry, some are just sad. Sometimes I am angry. All that grief stuff.  I guess it will get easier with time……so I hope.

If none of this makes any sense, then I apologize. I just had to vent.

Another weekend gone by and it’s Monday. A cloudy rainy one at that and I am ready for a nap. Can’t very well take one at work now can I? Oh to curl up about now. Mmmmm.

Spent the weekend planting some more flowers and trying to make the back yard look nice. We are actually growing grass at this point. I find this exciting since we have been trying for years to grow grass there but it was always too shady. I was quite excited when I saw how long the stuff that germinated is. It’s these little things that mean so much. I love the plants and green stuff. I think the Goddess would be proud of us!

I spent Sunday getting an order ready for some jewelry components as I am making some jewelry and plan to sell it. I’ve made some chandalier crystal earrings that are quite nice. Sold a few pairs too. All stuff for my store I have on line. I am buying some stuff to make anklets for a friend and myself. I can never find premade ones since my ankles are too big. Yes I am overweight but even at a good weight, they still don’t make them big enough for my big bones. I have the same problem with bracelets. But I have to technology to make my own and it’s time to get creative.

Anyway. Monday afternoon dulldrums and maybe I’ll wake up soon. Perhaps when it’s time to go home.

So how was your weekend?

Well made it through another Monday! It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood! It’s hot outside too- expected to be in the 90’s today.

We have gotten some new employees at work. One of them is a guy that just graduated from high school who is on a summer internship type thing. He is going to colledge to study to become a minister. From what litter he has said, he is part of a fairly strict church. He doesn’t listen to rock and roll! I think I’d die if I couldn’t listen to music- at least it would feel that way.

Anyway, this guy is really nice and all but I wonder how he might react if he found out I am Pagan. It’s not that I hide it or anything and my closer co-workers know that I am. But I have never really discussed it with my parents either because I don’t know how they might react. My dad might think I am part of a cult or something.

So how do you decide who to tell and who to keep it quiet? I feel that I don’t want to hide who I am but I don’t feel the need to advertise either. I mention it’s a holiday from time to time and they know I am in tune to the phases of the moon.  Some people might make the connection if they know anything about Wicca.

What has been your experience with telling others? Have you come out of the broom closet? I’d be interested to hear how others have dealth with this issue.

All this other activity has taken away a bit of my study time. I haven’t done any studing for Wicca since Beltain. Oh my too long.  I need to set up a schedule but then I tend to go with what I feel like doing at the time. Plus I have also be trying to teach myself HTML so I can learn to program.  I’d like to learn something else so perhaps I can work for myself. It has been my goal to work for myself. With my mood problems, it does present problems at work from time to time so working for myself might get rid of some of these problems.

Things are better at work these days. One of the main problem people at work left and I no longer receive personal attacks from my co-workers.  I also have a co-worker car pooling with me. We have a great time on the way to and from work with a drive that last 40 min on up, depending on traffic. I live around Philadelphia, PA and the traffic is terrible here.

Not much else new here. The dragons are good. They have been shedding so they have been a bit grouchy. Rocky has been real friendly lately. I talk to him a lot these days and he actually lets me pick him up these days. Very cool.  

ok, that’s it for now. Thanks to all of you who comment, as I always enjoy them. Have a great weekend! Or as we say these days, Happy Friday.

I am in a dancing mood. I started taking Bellydancing lessions. Oh what fun. It’s hard to get my body to cooperate though. You really have to learn to control movements and such and walk, chew gum and move all at the same time because you have to move your arm, hips and body plus do the dance step. It was really cool in class this week as some people are wearing coin scarves around their waist. When we do certain movement, the coins jingle and move in rhythm to the music. It sounds really cool.  I am going to order myself a scarf to wear. I think it will make it even more fun.

I also started going back to the gym at work and work out. Boy have I been tired this week! I am hoping the energy level picks up soon. I know last time, after I went throuigh this tired spell, I got all the energy. Last time it took a couple weeks to get tired, This time, it happened almost right away.   So I am hoping that things pick up soon.  All this to help improve my mood and outlook. I think it’s working

There seems to be some discussion about Blue Moon. My understanding is that the blue moon is the second full moon in a calendar month.  There are 13 full moons in a year so once per year you should see one. Is it really blue? So the expression ‘Once in a blue moon” must mean once a year. Go figure!