Magickal Circle

I finally got the chance to shadow someone at work. Boy was that fun. This new position at work is of great interest to me. I will be a Data Safety Associate. Some of the existing ones are leaving so they will need more DSA’s to do the tremendous amount of work. So it looks very promising, but I have to be patient. That is something I have problems with when it comes to things like this. I want the immediate gratification which includes both a job where I can use my brain and the increase in pay. Sounds like a win-win situation to me. I have to say the the Goddess must be smiling on me right now! Now when I am performing my current job which is electronically registering documents, I look at them thinking ‘oh this goes here and you need to do this with that” kind of thing. So I am alaready thinking about all this stuff. It is a job that required attention to detail. Once I have worked in this position for a bit, I can go anywhere to work. It will be a door that has opened and offers me many opportunities. Now how good it that!

With this months full moon I have got to thank the Goddess. Even if it is nothing more than lighting a candle and staring at the moon and thanking her. I must thank her somehow, after all.

Even the Faeries are smiling on me too. My cards say nothing but positive things about my future. How exciting life looks right now!

Goddess Bless!

I’m having a bit of a trauma here at work. All the problem people have left and it’s nice and calm here now. However I pushed for a change in position which they said I could be trained for and they are just dragging their feet.  Actually doing the job should be a promotion money wise as well, so that’s another reason to push for it.  I feel like they are just going to keep telling me that it is not convenient to train me. We need you in your present position.  If that’s the case then why did they say yes to the position for me?

I just get tired of all these loowsey jobs I get and new get anywhere. I feel like I have paid my dues. I have a nursing degree which lets you do a lot of different jobs besides nursing. I have done the entry level stuff and I need something more. I am too intelligent to settle for all this crap.  My birthchart says that I will have trouble in my work life-sort of like slogging through the mud. I have to fight for everything. That’s pretty much the way it is.

So here I finally think I’m getting a break and then it stalls.  This is a great deal of the reason I want to work for myself if I can just find something that will pay as much as I earn now (or better).  I can’t seem to get anywhere.  Sigh.

If anyone has a suggestion, I’m listening! 

I’ve been looking at my faery cards and trying to learn about them. There was a review about this Mystic Faery Deck in American Tarot Society ( I think that’s who it was) that talked about how cool they are and that the minor cards actually tell a story within each suit. I haven’t had the time yet to really study them but they seem very interesting. I plan to make flash cards to help me learn what the different cards mean. I really think Tarot is interesting and I want to learn more. I find it quite fascinating.

What has been your experience with Tarot? Do you use other tools for Divination? Anyone use a scrying mirror?  Just curious and would love your comments.

I’m excited about my new tarot deck. It’s called mystic faerie tarot and the artwork is beautiful. This deck spoke to me so I had to have it. I look forward to learn with it..

I feel like I am in mourning. The loss of a friend. They didn’t die or anything but they are no longer, so it seems, considering me as a friend. I am not perfect or anything but I feel that I ruined everything and so I consider it my fault. I don’t do well with screwing things up. I am a sensitive person and take everything to heart.  So I am very sad.

I don’t understand the lack of forgiveness or is it a question of no consideration for anyone else’s feelings. I try to think of other peoples feeling but I am not perfect. I have said the wrong thing too many times I suppose. So again, brought on by my own stupidity. As usual I am my own worst enemy.

So I guess I have to be grateful for the time I had as this person’s friend. And I enjoyed it a lot. New thoughts and ideas and a different way of looking at things.  Moral support too. Lots of that.  and now it’s gone. 

So I say a prayer for my friend- that their life will be good and they will be happy. That’s all I ever wanted was for them to be happy.  But now I’m sad and I don’t know how they feel because they won’t say. And they have a reason but to me it doesn’t relate. They don’t want to spend so much time on the computer. This translated to didn’t want to chat anymore in reality- at least my reality anyway.  Doesn’t make much sense. Why can’t people say what they mean. I would rather the truth, even if not pleasant rather than some BS excuse that in essence is more insulting because it shows lack of respect.  Hmm, maybe they felt I didn’t deserve that much consideration. I guess that’s another point to ponder. But when a person says they value the friendship and then seem to toss it away and it’s gone, I question how valuble was it to them? I am so confused.

So I mourn the loss. Some days I cry, some are just sad. Sometimes I am angry. All that grief stuff.  I guess it will get easier with time……so I hope.

If none of this makes any sense, then I apologize. I just had to vent.