Magickal Circle

I am reading about theWiccan rede, and the line about harm none. Gary Cantrell and his book  Wiccan Beliefs and Practices discusses how this means how we need to take responsibility for our actions. It’s funny because since I have been studying, I have gotten into this real accountability kick- making everyone accountable for their actions. I’ve be doing it at work and believe it or not it seems to be catching on. It’s a really good thing- be ba accountable. I think that is a problem with the world these days is that some many people are not held accountable for their actions.  If more people took responsibility and though about what they were doing, things would be much better. I don’t mean that everyone should be Wiccan, but that they should be more responsible. What do you think?

Wow! I have been so busy I haven’t had time to post.  I haven’t had time to devote to my studies either, much to my dissapointment. But I feel the need to continue and forge on with things. I feel much is open and undone.

I realize that so much of my reluctance is really due to this fear of power. Not being able to be in control somehow. Sort of like ‘being possessed’ or something like that. Hmm&amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/P> <P>I feel the need for some guidance-anyone out there can lend a hand? Point me in the right direction?

I think a schedule to stick to might help. Spend so much time every day and commit to it. I feel that there are tremendous demands on my time these days- a 12 hour day with work between commuting, work and going to the gym.  I don’t ever seem to get much done nights, especially after I’ve eaten. Then Dr. Somulac comes and knocks me out and I sleep for a while and then I’m up half the night.  Ahh- maybe that’s the time to study!

I’d be interested to hear how others have done their training.  Please share.  

Valentine’s Day was this week, of course. This led to an interesting discussion at work. Someone asked me What is Love? The first thing that popped into my head was the Ist Chorithian, Verse 13 of the New Testament of the Bible which talks about what love is. It is a common reading at many weddings. It is one of the few Christian scriptures that I know, but is one I have always liked.

One of my co-workers then hands me a paper to read about love. The first sentence reads ” Love is in the nature of creation and the core of life itself”. I found this to be such a profound sentence. Just think about it a bit and let it roll around in your head, much the same way you would a fine wine in your mouth.

In perfect Love and perfect trust, these words are not all that different it would seem. Two different religions yet the thought is the same. Love is so important and giving of oneself without expecting anything in return. The article says this is ‘the pure essence of life’. I have to agree.

I know we try to live this way, sometimes we are more successful than others. But I think as long as the love is there, we are going to be okay. Sometimes it becomes ‘what’s in it for me’ but that is a poor way to look at it. Be happy that you did something good and that you did it because you had love in your heart and you wanted to do something nice. I think the satisfaction becomes the reward and the love you get in return cannot be measured.

I don’t know. Maybe we should have a Valentine’s Day every week so people can remember to keep loving. Like the old Burt Bacharach song, What the World Needs Now is Love.

Gee, I hope that’s the correct way to spell that- Anyway. A friend at work was discussing animal totums with me.  I had mentioned that I hadn’t really figuered out what mine was. She looks at me, in my cube at work, surrounded by pictures of bearded dragons. No, I don’t have one yet. To say nothing about the 5 wonderful live ones I have at home. Yes, I think so!

Finding one it seems has to do with animals that you seem to repeatedly see, and this  particular animal has a significance for you.  This friend let me look at a book of hers which talks about chakras and aligning your chakras with the correct totums.  It seems to boil down to noticing that around you, taking stock in that and learning what you can from that animal. There are things to learn in nature and things that we need to be taught. But these animal can align with the parts of your body where that type of energy is needed.

This is a quite simplistic way of looking at it, but perhaps a start. So much to learn, so little time.  

Something else to think about. So my mind is in a blender…..

Where is my W2? I am really annoyed at this point. Apparantly it was messed up so it had to be fixed. How many days does that take? 10 days they say. To change a couple of freaking numbers?  But I must calm myself as waiting does have it’s benefits. The Mail came. I received a statement for the last of my student loan interest. Another deduction. So I guess I’m not so mad anymore.

This is total unrelated to Wicca, or my it is. I had an incident I guess you’d call it, with some co-workers at work. As the senior member of the group and the person who trained most of these people, something had come up so I sent out a memo about the correct way to do something. A couple of the people jumped all over me. “who told you this”, “I though I supposed to do it this way. I want to know who told you this”. I explained to them I was only providing information. I get a e mail from one of these co-workers saying I should have gone through the team lead for this. All I was doing was trying to remind them. I guess I probable got more upset than the situation warranted but I am getting real tired of personal attacks at this place where I work. This one co-worker who sent me the e mail considers herself a good Christian., she is studying a lot at church. She has talked to me about the importance of love . I find no love in her actions an feel she is a bit of a hypocrite. I had another incident with one of of these co-workers where she announce in the team meeting that my New Years resolution was the my goal was to keep my mouth shut during team meetings. I do tend to be outspoken but it is because i have ideas and see things that need to be fixed. I learn how things work and try to make them work better. I can’t help it.

I can’t understand that kind of meanness. They don’t even realize they are doing it, that’s the sad part. I certainly am not feeling the love.

We had a team meeting this morning and I am going in late to work and didn’t go to the meeting so I didn’t have to look at their faces. I can retreat to my cube and work. I’ll be better about tomorrow but I am just so mad about the whole thing.

But maybe too, I should have the love and let go of this. they too are human. Their actions may not have been purposeful and they are doing what they thought was right at the time. I usually don’t stay mad for long but I guess I feel very hurt about the whole thing. I feel betrayed somehow and there’s me and them not the whole team anymore. I feel so strongly about the whole thing that I was ready to quit. I am uncomfortable being there now.
Well. I guess I am done. we shall see what happens. Goddess Bless

I did not do Imbolc rite on Friday. Actually I understand that should be done the night before the holiday. I found a different book that has put a new perspective on ritual and has made it seem quite a bit more straightforward. Either that or I have been re-reading this stuff enough that it is sinking in. The book I found is Wiccan Beliefs and Practices by  Gary Cantrell. I think this will be a good resource to help get me started. The other books might be a bit more involved- a different point of view as well.

He present the book in such a way that I think I will find it easy to write my own ritual which is really the goal.  I feel that I am not adequatly honoring the God and Goddess. It’s no better than I was as a Christian who when to church on Christmas and Easter.  That bothers me. I guess that is something to work on then isn’t it.

Please tell me what books you have found to be helpful. I love a good book and I am always looking or new books.

I guess maybe I am repeating myself but education is pretty important to me. I know you can’t learn everything from a  book. So what is a solitary practitioner to do? I know from reading that you can consider yourself a high priestest once you have obtained a certain level of knowledge. But who determines this and where do you learn this stuff. I can read a book but I really feel like I am missing something somewhere. Is it just not my time yet? I know this is the path chosen for me, but perhaps it is time to take stock. 

I guess I really need to devise a plan, set goals, give myself some structure. Perhaps I can contact someone who can help guide me. I guess the power thing still makes me nervous too. I don’t want to get in over my head. I have been told by other witches that I have a lot of power so it makes me nervous.

So anyone who can make some suggestions, I’m listening. Perhaps you know of someone who can guide me. Thanks